I’m Straight (Jonathan Richman)
I’m Straight (Jonathan Richman) 3:43
Vocals, Harmonica, Sample (The War to Settle the Score – Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper 1985), Mixer 1 – (techno sampler – 5 different samples from ButtonBass), Sounds (from SoundBible)
Video – Modern Lovers (the original song 1970)
Lyrics
“adjusted” by Harvey Dog
Starring: Harv & Friend
Scene 1
(War to Settle the Score featuring Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper is on the tv in the background throughout the song)
Friend: Oh, I haven’t seen this in about 25 years. Whoa.
(Harv shudders)
Harv: I called that number three times already today.
Friend: Oh, Harv.
Harv: But I, I got scared, I put it back in place.
Friend: What did you put back in place?
Harv: I put the phone back in place, ok, I put the phone back in place.
Friend: Whoa, calm down.
Harv: I still don’t know if I should have called her up.
Friend: Probably not.
Harv: Look, just tell me, why doesn’t she tell me if I’m out of place. ‘Cause now she has a chance to make me feel awkward.
Friend: Like now?
Harv: Oh, I know, I know. Funny. Funny. But then I wish I never even called up that place.
Scene 2
Harv: So, um, did I tell you I saw her today?
Friend: Who?
Harv: She walked by with Hippie Johnny.
Friend: Oh God.
Harv: ..and that’s why I had to call her up 3 times and say: “I want to take his place.”
Friend: Oh God.
Harv: So, the phone call it concern…it was about Hippie Johnny.
Friend: Not him.
Harv: He’s always stoned. He’s never straight. I saw her today, walk by, with Hippie Johnny. Look, I had to call her up and say: “I want to take his place.” See, he’s stoned. Hippie Johnny. I’m straight., and I want to take his place. I’m straight.
Scene 3
Harv: Now, look, I like him too. I like Hippy Johnny.
Friend: He’s OK.
Harv: But, I’m straight, and I want to take his place. I said I’m straight. I’m straight. I’m proud to say I’m straight. Straight, and I want to take his place.
Friend: Ok, Harv.
Harv: Now I’ve watched her walk around, I’ve seen her walking around, and I’ve watched her meet these new boyfriends.
Friend: Boyfriends?
Harv: She tells me and says, “oh, these guys, they’re so great, and you know, they’re so deep.”
Friend: I hear ya!
Harv: Why can’t they at least take this place, and take it straight? Why always stoned?
Friend: yeah…
Harv: …like Hippie Johnny. I’m straight, and I want to take his place. I’m straight.
Scene 4
Harv: I’m certainly not stoned…at least, not like Hippie Johnny. I’m straight, and I want to take his place. I’m
Hated Uncles: I’m Straight
Harv: Tell the world now.
Hated Uncles: I’m Straight
Harv: That’s it.
Hated Uncles: I’m Straight
Harv: Yeh. I’m straight, and I want to take his place!
Written by Jonathan Richman
Notes
- I’m not sure where the idea for dramatizing classic songs with 2 characters named Harv & Friend while wrestling is playing in the background came from – but, they’re fun to do!
- I used the beginning of this song: “I called this number 3 times already…” for my answering machine message in the early 1980s. My parents were not amused.
- The wrestling match in the background is the classic War To Settle the Score between Hulk Hogan & Roddy Piper from 1985. The prelude to the corporate machine known as Wrestlemania.
- The album “The Modern Lovers” came out in 1976 (recorded 1971-1973), and is an early favorite of mine. I played it a LOT, and I’m sure I put the headphones on and sang along with it silently – a few times.
- When I finished this song, I thought there was a chance I would do a sequel; but, certainly not a third! Will there be a 4th? If I find the right song for Harv & Friend to dramatize, there will be a 4th.
- I’ll do pages for the 2nd (“I Couldn’t Get High” by The Fugs) & the 3rd (“Lola” by The Kinks) next.
Return to Harvey Dog’s Home Page.
Return to Harvey Dog’s Music Page.